Existential Harmony

Tired of Perfectionism

I’m finally ready to work on my perfectionism because I’m so tired of it killing my joy.

I just want to be me and let that be enough.

I want to live without feeling paralyzed by fear, without letting time slip away while I sit frozen, unable to act. My only chance at happiness is right now, and if I don’t do something that makes me happy today, why would tomorrow be any different?

If my habits make me miserable, why do I keep them?

I don’t enjoy the fear, stress, or procrastination that come with perfectionism. At some point, I need to let it go—or I’ll never be happy.

A Promise to Myself

Today, I’m making a promise: I’m going to stop trying to control what I can’t control. Instead, I’ll use that energy to just be myself and do what I enjoy.

I don’t want to be a fake version of myself anymore.

I’m already isolated and alone, so why am I still afraid to be myself? How could being my true self make loneliness any worse? It’s silly when I think about it—I might as well be happy as my authentic self rather than unhappy as someone I’m not.

Redefining Social Media

If I decide to keep Instagram, I’m going to use it for me.

For too long, I felt embarrassed and rejected when no one liked the things I shared—the funny moments, the little joys that made me smile. I’d think, “Maybe they don’t care, maybe they don’t get me.”

But the truth is, it doesn’t matter. I like what I post. I enjoy sharing my perspective of the world.

Instagram can be a way to show others what your inner world looks like—what makes you happy, what you focus on, what matters to you. If I’m going to use it, I’m going to use it in a way that brings me joy, not as a superficial ego boost.

Now, I realize no one else sees the world exactly as I do, and that’s okay. It’s all creativity.

Reclaiming My Identity from Perfectionism

I’ve spent too much time worrying about how others perceive me, trying to meet invisible expectations of who I think they want me to be.

But that’s just a trap—a way to keep me “safe” from rejection, but also stuck and alone.

I’d rather focus on how I perceive myself. Who do I want to be? Do I like the image I’m portraying, or am I just pretending to fit in?

I’d rather be myself and have people dislike me than keep pretending to be someone I’m not—someone people don’t seem to like anyway.

Writing My Own Story

From now on, I’m just me. Audrey. A college student and an adult woman trying to live and experience life.

I get to choose who I am. I get to decide which parts of me to keep and which to leave behind. No one else gets to define my identity anymore—it’s all mine.

I’m evolving—or maybe devolving, at least by social standards—but into the person I’ve always wanted to be:

Me.

As always, don’t forget to share your revelations with me below ♡

Until next time,

Audrey