The Question of Reality
At the end of the day, how do we know if anything is truly real or true? How can we be sure that what happens in life is a result of our actions and not just random chance? Is there such a thing as luck, or is it all about intention? Is control really just an illusion meant to help us feel more comfortable with the chaos of life?
And what if we don’t even know our own intentions until it’s too late? Is there ever a point when it’s too late to course-correct, to realign intentions that veered off track without us realizing it?
Sometimes, I wonder if I even have any real impact on my life. It doesn’t always feel like I do.
The Illusion of Control
Maybe it really is just an illusion of control. But maybe that belief is all that really matters—believing I can make a change prompts me to act as though change is possible. Perhaps it’s the act of believing that leads to real transformation, even if chance still plays a role.
Or maybe life really is just a 50/50 shot, everything dictated by randomness. Maybe we can’t control anything at all, and all we can do is hope for the outcomes we want. After all, so much of life boils down to yes or no, success or failure.
If that’s the case, then maybe the only power we truly have is in how we respond to those outcomes. Do we accept them as they are, or do we fight to change them? And if we fight, will persistence lead to success, or will it still fail?
Sometimes, it feels like there are too many ways to play this game of life, and I can’t figure out the right way to win—if there even is a right way.
Overthinking the Rules
I thought I knew the rules, but now I wonder if I’ve been playing all wrong. Or maybe this confusion is just part of the learning process. Am I overthinking everything?
Is life truly mental—where nothing I do matters unless my mind aligns with my desires? And does the opposite hold true? If my mind is aligned but my body isn’t, does that also hold me back?
And what about the times I’m wrong without meaning to be? What happens then?
Wrestling with the Illusion of Control
Honestly, it’s exhausting to think about all of this, but once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop. I’ve gone so far down the rabbit hole that I’m not sure I can find my way back out.
I know what to do, or at least I think I do—I know how to play this game of life. And yet, I’m still afraid. I’m afraid of telling myself I deserve happiness, love, financial security, and success. It feels selfish to believe I might be better than anyone else in any way.
Why does it feel so wrong to have complete faith in myself? Why does believing I’m worthy of good things make me feel uncomfortable, even crazy?
Is that discomfort just social conditioning, or is it something more valid? And how do I fight back against it? Do I keep affirming my worthiness, hoping that one day I’ll truly believe it?
Reality or a Dream?
Sometimes, I genuinely feel like I’m living in a dream. It’s hard to believe my reality is real—that life could be this safe, this easy, this good. I wish someone else could validate my experiences in those moments. Maybe then I’d spiral less, feel less uncertain about what’s real.
I worry that I’ll wake up one day and everything will fall apart—that once I’ve reached true safety and security, I’ll be thrown back into the darkness I came from.
But I guess I have no choice but to take that risk. Maybe it’s okay, because even if the dream doesn’t last forever, I can still live in it for a while.
Choosing to Believe
And who knows? Maybe I’ll never have to wake up. Maybe this is my true reality. Or maybe, if I believe it is for long enough, it’ll become true eventually.
As always, don’t forget to share your revelations with me below 🙂
Until next time,
Audrey
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